So, I bought this book, "Burn After Writing" off Amazon. I'm not sure it was worth $16.99 but it's been pretty interesting. It's a book to write in and it gives you these little prompts so I thought I'd use one and expand on it. Here we go.
Pg. 29. The hardest choice I have ever had to make.
Sending my son to a residential treatment center. I've written about this before but it really was a tough decision. Making the decision took a lot of thought, heartbreak, courage and desperation. I couldn't think for the life of me how I could have raised this sweet terror. And what I could have done to cause it. After holding a knife to his sister's throat, I had to keep both my children safe and this was the only option I could figure out. I hate the events that transpired after, I hate what happened as a result and I hate that I no longer have a relationship with my son. I hate it because he's created this narrative in his own head that I sent him to a psych ward and abandoned him. I hate it because sometimes I find it easier to say, "Oh well" and not worry about what he's doing any longer. I also hate the fact that no matter how much I still love him, I know that he'll never forgive me. I also know that the events that transpired are not my fault and that I can't control the outcome. So all I can do is deal.
That's the hardest choice I've ever had to make.
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