Snow Day!!

Well, today has been boring! It snowed today, a little - we live in San Antonio - but it snowed as much as it can in Texas and so we've had ourselves a snow day. I've been sitting at home with my daughter all day doing not a damn thing. Watching boring tv, reading a book, playing video games and sitting on my butt. Of course I could be doing productive things but hey, it's a snow day! I deserve to have one day of sloth right? After all, my husband's in Vegas enjoying himself all alone so why not?

New Year, new thoughts

As the year of 2010 winds down, my random thoughts are growing more random. Most people create lists of the things they hope to accomplish, I've created a list of things I haven't accomplished.

1. The book I started writing in 2009 isn't even half finished.
2. Lose weight (again!)
3. Become more respected in my career.
4. Become a better house cleaner. (I hate cleaning)
5. Save money for the future.
6. Help my husband out with his business.
7. Get more quality time.
8. Help my daughter control her anger.
9. Travel more
10. Get out of debt.


So there's that list. I guess it is going to continue over to this year. Any suggestions for how to accomplish this? Here are my thoughts:

1. Make time at least twice a week for writing.
2. Eat healthier, take the dog for a walk nightly
3. This one I'm not sure how to accomplish because it's not something I can do on my own.
4. Pick up daily.
5. Set aside at least $20 per month?
6. Offer to help when needed, on weekends, during breaks, etc.
7. Make more "dates"
8. Drugs? LOL Just kidding. Help her to reach a happier place thorough example.
9. Vegas baby!
10. Call a credit counseling service.


What are your random thoughts?

Weirdness

I feel strange. It's only four days but it feels like forever since I've seen my husband. I feel almost lost. He'll be home tomorrow and I've been away from him before but it feels strange now. I don't know if it's because I don't have anyone around me or if it's because I'm jealous of where he is. It's only 24 more hours until he's home, can I survive???

Senselessness

What is it about life that bad things happen to some people and not others? Why is it that one child can make a wrong decision and have their life snuffed out and others make multiple bad decisions but live on? Three days ago, one of my students was killed while walking across a busy road. She was 12 years old, beautiful, intelligent, mature and had such great potential. She made the bad decision to play a game of dare and ended up losing her life. It sickens me that people like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, George Michael and many others make even worse decisions involving drugs, drinking and reckless driving and receive reduced sentences, slaps on the wrists or even no punishment at all - they are risking their lives every day and yet, nothing bad happens while this one child, who made one mistake, is now gone. I am absolutely heartbroken that this beautiful girl is dead. It will be with great sadness that I go face my students tomorrow and let them know about their classmate. Please keep me in your thoughts.

Vacation in Ohio

Am currently on vacation in Ashtabula, Ohio. A small town in northeastern Ohio about 15 minutes from Lake Erie, Ashtabula seems stuck in a time warp. The people who choose to live here grew up here, as did their parents and grandparents, etc. They play in the school parks, go for long walks, sit on their front porches or stoops and wave to people walking by. It's the type of place where every one knows everyone else and your business is not really your own. I love it here because it's peaceful, quiet and gives you time to think. With Cleveland about 50 minutes away, you can experience the fast paced life if you want but most people would rather go visit the Pymatuning Spillway or go to the Little League baseball games. Family is more important than computers/texting/Facebook and life moves at a much slower pace. In San Antonio (where I'm from) people are constantly on the go, going from work, to the gym, to the Riverwalk, to the clubs, etc., but here, you have time to just sit and enjoy the breeze, the thwack of the bat hitting a baseball, the squeak of the swings, whoosh of the wind through the screen door, the "Yoo-hoo" from family coming over to visit. Relaxation is the key - though people do go about their daily lives with work and gym visits, etc., it's not fast-paced.

Yesterday, we went with my uncle for a drive through Amish country, enjoyed the scenery and had an impromptu cookout over a fire pit located in a park on the Green River. We'd driven out there because I used to go there as a kid in the summers for family picnics (my dad's family is from this area). Then we drove through several "townships" (county's back in Texas) looking at houses, trees and covered bridges which are abundant in this area. We stopped in Mesopotamia, OH at a store called "End of Commons General Store" for ice cream and penny candy. There were girls dressed in Amish clothing (I think they were but not sure!) and the store itself was a treasure trove of homemade jams, jellies, candy, ice cream, gelatin, and many other delights. At the deli counter, the selection of meats and cheeses was enough to make your mouth water and the piece of sharp Cheddar I bought was so creamy, it had to be homemade. Coming back home, my uncle let me drive his 1963 Malibu/Chevelle - man the power those classic cars have!

All in all my vacation so far has been completely stress free and relaxing. The things I've enjoyed most is sitting on the screened-in porch talking with my cousins and just chilling. I'm not looking forward to leaving for my fast-paced home again in a couple of days....except for the fact that I miss my husband and other girls.

For my beautiful daughter

For You I Wish

For you I wish the world to be songs every day
Because I know how much you love music
For you I wish the world to be pictures and drawings
Because I know how much you love art
For you I wish the world to be rainbows
Because I know how much you love colors
For you I wish the world to be full of books
Because I know how much you love to read
For you I wish to world to be full of friendship
Because I know how much you love people
For you I wish the world to be full of love
Because I love you.

Sometimes I Wish

Sometimes I wish I were a thousand miles away with you
On a white beach talking and laughing
Sometimes I wish I were sitting next to you on that beach
Holding your hand saying ‘it’s okay’
Sometimes I wish you hadn’t done the things you did
To end up where you are now
Sometimes I wish that we could go back in time to your childhood to right the wrongs
That make you the way you are now
Sometimes I wish your disorder allowed you to make better decisions growing up
So you wouldn’t have ended up where you are
Sometimes I wish the choices I had made were more well thought-out
So maybe you’d be a better person, but your decisions weren’t my fault
Sometimes I wish more mature choices had been made on your part
So that my decisions hadn’t hurt either of us so much
Sometimes I wish that circumstances had been different
So I didn’t have to make the decisions that I did, that resulted in sending you away
But I also realize that sending you away was the best thing for all of us
Sometimes I wish we had a better relationship
So I’d feel like this situation wasn’t all my fault
I know that the decisions made were the best for all of us
But sometimes I wish I could change them
But I know in my heart it was the best thing for you in the long run
Sometimes I wish you were still here
So I could show you how very much I love you