Sometimes I Wish

Sometimes I wish I were a thousand miles away with you
On a white beach talking and laughing
Sometimes I wish I were sitting next to you on that beach
Holding your hand saying ‘it’s okay’
Sometimes I wish you hadn’t done the things you did
To end up where you are now
Sometimes I wish that we could go back in time to your childhood to right the wrongs
That make you the way you are now
Sometimes I wish your disorder allowed you to make better decisions growing up
So you wouldn’t have ended up where you are
Sometimes I wish the choices I had made were more well thought-out
So maybe you’d be a better person, but your decisions weren’t my fault
Sometimes I wish more mature choices had been made on your part
So that my decisions hadn’t hurt either of us so much
Sometimes I wish that circumstances had been different
So I didn’t have to make the decisions that I did, that resulted in sending you away
But I also realize that sending you away was the best thing for all of us
Sometimes I wish we had a better relationship
So I’d feel like this situation wasn’t all my fault
I know that the decisions made were the best for all of us
But sometimes I wish I could change them
But I know in my heart it was the best thing for you in the long run
Sometimes I wish you were still here
So I could show you how very much I love you