May 27, 2024
Thinking about you today. Not like you're ever NOT on my mind but today especially for some reason. Maybe because my birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I did NOT feel like celebrating at all. Maybe because I realize it's now been 7 months without you. It's getting a little easier but the hurt doesn't lessen. The crying jags are fewer and far between, but they still happen. I'm tearing up right now in fact. I just don't know how I'm supposed to survive for the rest of my life without my heart. And I'm scared about my own health. On one hand, I hope that I am okay and that what's running through my head is not going to become reality; but on the other, I hope it does so I can be with you. Catch-22.
I love you. I miss you. Despite my personal beliefs that there is nothing beyond this life, I hope you're in a place that has a beach and white sand and endless fruity drinks and you're enjoying getting to know your great-grandma & great-grandpa and that maybe even you've met Michael and maybe even convinced your great-grandma to let you dye her hair pink or green. Be happy my baby.
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